fiestaturbo.com

by **dontpannic** on Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:39 am

I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, "Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."

It made me cross.

I heard that Facebook have taken the privilege of owning our photos now.

So does that mean when I upload my collection of child pawn it's not mine?

I was arrested yesterday and during police questioning, I thought I made a very good case for my defense.

"Your surname is Johnson. Doesn't mean you are John's son.
Your surname is Black. Doesn't mean you are Black.
Your surname is Driver. Doesn't mean you can drive.
Your surname is Baker. Doesn't mean you are a Baker.
Your surname is Northern. Doesn't mean you are from the North.
Now, we've established, surnames aren't literal, yes?"

The detective replied "Look Mr Dickinson, you're not getting off that easy!"

A female college lecturer reminds her students about an exam that the have tomorrow.

"Apart from a death in the family or a nuclear attack im not taking any excuses for not taking the exam."

"What if im suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion.". Says a lad from the back.

(class erupts into laughter)
Once it quietens down she looks at him and says,

"Well then you will have to write with your other hand"

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.

So I hit her over the head with my X-box.

There's a mysterious never-ending hole in my back garden, and I dont know why.

I just cant get to the bottom of it.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fudgekin appendix out!"

Borrowed from the sickipedia