Bruster's Quality tests

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Postby AdrianFRST on Thu Mar 21, 2002 6:55 pm

Bruster's Quality Tests:

Last Saturday evening in Essex I left Charlie sat in my Zetec-S while me and Lou went to check into our rooms. A few minutes later I returned and was somewhat alarmed to see him poking and proding around the car, white lab coat donned and clipboard and biro in hand. It materialised he was carrying out the strict Bruster Quality Vehicle Test™ - assessing each aspect of the car to investigate if it came up to his standard definition of a Bruster Quality Vehicle (also ™). The results were as follows:

Doors - Resounding clunk when shut. [PASS]

Interior light - fades gently when doors closed not just on/off action. [PASS]

Windscreen - tinted section in the gap between the sunvisors, ghey minature third sun visor not acceptable. [PASS]

Indicators - separate flashing light in instrument cluster for left / right. [PASS]

Engine Vibration - aka 'The 2p Test'. a 2p is palced on the rocker cover and is observed to see if it vibrates off or stays in place. Due to the angle of the rocker cover in the Zetec-S this caused the coin to fall off the rocker and become lodged in the intake manifold... [INCONCLUSIVE]

Glovebox Lid - not excessively asymetrical. [PASS]

Dashboard - curvature in excess of 15 degrees but no single curve exceeding 35 degrees. [PASS]

Overall results very impressive, the same tests carried out on a 1983 beige diesel Metro van proved not so impressive...

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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: AdrianFRST on 2002-03-21 17:55 ]</font>
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Postby Muzza on Thu Mar 21, 2002 6:59 pm

:lol: :lol:
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Postby fiestakingfisher on Thu Mar 21, 2002 6:59 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Yeah, the 2p test was especially comedy!! :lol: :lol:
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Postby Doc on Thu Mar 21, 2002 7:13 pm

:???: what about the tried and tested tyre kicking test??? :lol:
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Postby vanny magnet on Thu Mar 21, 2002 7:32 pm

Oh no! :eek: :eek: FT.com has its very own version of Jeremy Clarkson :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Is any motor now safe from the Bruster test, im gonna lock my van away untill he stops his reign of motoring terror on us all, lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Excursion on Thu Mar 21, 2002 7:44 pm

the original 2p test was "coined" ahem from the rover sd1 v8's in the tc3000's

they were so smooth the 2p was able to stand on its end! whilst engine was running.

all those tests bar the glovebox lid and dashboard are very good though!!
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Postby The Bruster on Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:49 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Ade you git! (again)

Sad thing is its all true (most of it!)

I must admit tho my soarer has the gay extra flap above the rear view mirror between the main visors :rolleyes:
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Postby elm_us on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:03 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: i believe it was true
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Postby AntVan on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:08 pm

My diesel would have no chance on the 2p test LOL. :lol:
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Postby chumkila on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:08 pm

i do believe the youngman's lost the plot! :lol: :lol:
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Postby TrekkieFRST on Thu Mar 21, 2002 10:18 pm

you so know he lost it years ago!!! :grin:
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Postby The Bruster on Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:20 am

me? lost it? NEVER!!! :bonkers:
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Postby andymac on Fri Mar 22, 2002 12:54 am

Sorry m8, but you did. Roundabout 1986.

:aviator: :lol:
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Postby custom boy on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:59 am

:grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:
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Postby AndyBlackFRST on Fri Mar 22, 2002 11:38 am

The 2p test was great.. The panic in your face when it dropped down Ade was funny.. The Bruster just looked amazed, Maybe he wanted to note it on his clipboard as failed!!

Then he uses a fen to get the 2p out and drops the pen lid down..

Thank god for long fingers.. always knew they were for something :razz:
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Postby The Bruster on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:40 pm

May I just od one aspect where the Zetec S clearly failed?

well I'm going to anyway - NO GLOVEBOX LIGHT. [fail]

:lol: :lol: read it and weep Ade!

The look and Andy's girlfreinds face when I nicked her pen of her mid sentace, mid essey, and proceded to drop half of it into Adrians engine bay was worth a laugh too!

I never caught you name but sorry Andy's bird™ anyway :aviators:
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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: The Bruster on 2002-03-22 13:42 ]</font>
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Postby AndyBlackFRST on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:43 pm

when do you want that bumper mate?
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Postby AndyBlackFRST on Fri Mar 22, 2002 2:43 pm

when do you want that bumper mate?
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Postby The Bruster on Fri Mar 22, 2002 3:43 pm

whenever!!!!!! when you next in this area? :grin:
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Postby AndyBlackFRST on Fri Mar 22, 2002 4:36 pm

I'm off to coventry tomorrow night mate.. not that close though..
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Postby The Bruster on Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:04 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: not to close no!
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Postby AndyBlackFRST on Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:31 pm

i'M GOING TO DONNINGTON FIRST TO PICK UP MY NEW 2I!
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Postby The Bruster on Fri Mar 22, 2002 5:41 pm

:grin: :grin: :grin:
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Postby AdrianFRST on Fri Dec 13, 2002 11:58 pm

Another "classic" (and I use the term in it's loosest possible sense) dragged up from the archives. :D
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Postby MtY on Tue Mar 25, 2003 9:43 pm

is it jeremy clarkson? or is it more of a quentin wilson??
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