[GUIDE] Si T's guide to dealing with a breakup

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[GUIDE] Si T's guide to dealing with a breakup

Postby SimonT on Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:11 pm

Seems like theres peeps with a few relationship probs on here at the mo so I've wrote the following:

[at the risk of cheapening the Guides/FAQs section,
I do feel this has a tongue-in-cheek place here; readers
should take this advice on board with a pinch... no,
shovel of salt ;) - Proj]


SimonT's guide to dealing with a breakup

1) Little Slappers - The perfect start on the road to recovery. Abusing some poor lass whos well up for it is a great way to sort your head out. BUT dont stick with one two long otherwise she might think she "loves" you and you dont want that. Nosireebob!

2) Beer & Puff - Getting drunk and stoned is the ultimate way to numb emotions. I'm not kidding mate. Mix with little slappers and you got the ultimate party cocktail! :D WARNING - It is all to easy to start depending on beer and puff. Get smashed for two weeks max. (n.b. ask a responsible adult to hide your car keys for this period...)

3) Focus on something - We have all been there mate. We have all asked ourselves "was it my fault" etc etc etc. Different breakups obviously have different reasons associated with them. If it was something you have done live and learn. If it was something she did welcome to the frame of mind that is:

"WOMEN CANT BE TRUSTED"

Find and interest and focus with it. Then after work go for the beer and puff and add a dash of little slapper.

4) Get out there and fudgekin live. Goto a rave, go on holiday, f**k it - lie down on a zebra crossing in busy rush hour traffic - just to say you've done it!

I'm telling you it works.

Hope this helps

Si T :)
Last edited by SimonT on Wed Apr 13, 2005 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby TomRS1800 on Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:14 pm

:D

Thanks Si
What come's next? who care's, why worry about things over which you have no control. Freedom is a voyage of discovery with all the enjoyment of seeing things and experiencing events for the first time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Postby Banafell on Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:15 pm

That's really rather good :) -does it work for girls too?
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Postby SimonT on Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:20 pm

dunno darlin! I spose if you replaced little slapper with male slut you should be ok! :)
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Postby TomRS1800 on Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:21 pm

SimonT wrote:dunno darlin! I spose if you replaced little slapper with male slut you should be ok! :)





:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
What come's next? who care's, why worry about things over which you have no control. Freedom is a voyage of discovery with all the enjoyment of seeing things and experiencing events for the first time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Postby Simeski on Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:43 pm

Good work Si.

Maybe it can be put in the Guides & FAQ section :D
Remember: There are only two tools in life. WD-40, for when something doesn't move, and should, and Duct Tape, for when something is moving and it shouldn't.
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Postby Ry on Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:14 pm

It's the truth!! :lol: :lol:
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Postby Kartracer69 on Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:40 pm

guides guides guides!!

:lol: most entertaining
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Postby TomRS1800 on Wed Apr 13, 2005 10:38 pm

Im sure he is gonna write a book soon

Thanks again Si the wheels are in motion :D
Last edited by TomRS1800 on Wed Apr 20, 2005 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
What come's next? who care's, why worry about things over which you have no control. Freedom is a voyage of discovery with all the enjoyment of seeing things and experiencing events for the first time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Postby MotorcyclesFish on Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:04 am

LOL. One of your lucid moments... :Q


:D :D :D :D

Amazon.co.uk, in the near future wrote:"Got Any Pills, Love?": An Alternative Guide To Surviving Life
Author: Simon T.
Paperback, 308 pages.
14 April, 2005

£26.99
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Postby Project on Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:08 am

Immortalised in guides... but for how long? ;)
<< I need to put something here, yer? >>
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Postby jdfiesta on Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:46 pm

quality Si
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Postby jdfiesta on Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:46 pm

quality Si
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Postby Percy! on Thu Apr 14, 2005 12:49 pm

It does work, problem is I had a huge break up over a year ago and I am still on stage 1 and seem to keep repeating it! :lol:
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Postby pornstar! on Thu Apr 14, 2005 1:09 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: nice one geezer!
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Postby SimonT on Thu Apr 14, 2005 2:14 pm

Percy! wrote:It does work, problem is I had a huge break up over a year ago and I am still on stage 1 and seem to keep repeating it! :lol:


Aww man. Must be harsh... :lol:

Im stuck in a loop between 1 and 2b for a year! (2b being the same as 2 but with the addition of class A substances :D )
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Postby TomRS1800 on Fri Apr 15, 2005 12:32 am

SimonT wrote:
Percy! wrote:It does work, problem is I had a huge break up over a year ago and I am still on stage 1 and seem to keep repeating it! :lol:


Aww man. Must be harsh... :lol:

Im stuck in a loop between 1 and 2b for a year! (2b being the same as 2 but with the addition of class A substances :D )




:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby punkass230 on Fri Apr 22, 2005 11:48 am

i say dont let any1 tell you alcohol solves nothing, i done the week long binge and that sorted me right out! it feels good 2 be anihlated for a week straight and you forget anything u where upset about, also lets not forget everyone knows drunk people are cool, i got 2 the point where i hought i was in motley crue and that boosted my self esteem no end, i call this Keith Moon syndom.
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Postby carlos on Sat Apr 23, 2005 2:16 pm

Girlfriends are more hassle than there worth,

The single life is definately the way forward, go out & enjoy life don't spend it hung up on reletionships!! :D
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Postby Fiesta LX on Sat Apr 23, 2005 2:36 pm

I read it as breakers not break ups!!! :lol:
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Postby BadSi on Sun May 01, 2005 3:29 pm

dam looks like im gana have to take notes from dis now :(
why do women do it!!??
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Postby ste_turbo on Tue May 03, 2005 4:44 pm

I did similar thing while ago. Including the class A's. But I upgraded the choice of little slapper for little slapper that she worked with. Made it feel so much better.
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Postby TomRS1800 on Mon Jun 20, 2005 6:39 am

BadSi wrote:dam looks like im gana have to take notes from dis now :(
why do women do it!!??


Because some women have alteria motives hence I was a huge casualty of the break up! Si will agree on this


Its hard to let go..but remember its all experience in what we call is life

Don't look back

Look foward and keep on going

I am almost there myself and I must say after all the nonsense which has gone on I feel 10 times the better person for what I was when I was in the relationship


Women - You can't live with them but you can't live without them
What come's next? who care's, why worry about things over which you have no control. Freedom is a voyage of discovery with all the enjoyment of seeing things and experiencing events for the first time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Postby beeniemac on Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:28 pm

Superb :lol:
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Postby festasi on Thu Jun 30, 2005 9:15 pm

2 months ago broke up [ERRR] my gf of 3 years... hav done the alcohol thing, and am now thinkin of the slapper thing... :rolleyes:
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Postby j_man69 on Mon Jul 04, 2005 8:40 pm

ste_turbo wrote:I did similar thing while ago. Including the class A's. But I upgraded the choice of little slapper for little slapper that she worked with. Made it feel so much better.


or her "little slapper best mate" :lol:
project fez has landed !!
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Postby 2309andy on Sat Jul 16, 2005 6:12 pm

found out this week gf of 3 years had f**cked me over proper.

why do they do it,

step 2 is in motion, bar the hiding of the keys,

step 1 is next target
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Postby Ry on Sat Jul 16, 2005 6:16 pm

fooking women :rolleyes:

how's the book coming on Si? :)
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Postby TomRS1800 on Mon Mar 06, 2006 2:02 am

Old post I knwo but neds to be dragged up for anyone who's been through it

Well I'm totally on the other side now and thanks to this lil' guide and with help from friends and family I'm actually very happy
:D :Q
What come's next? who care's, why worry about things over which you have no control. Freedom is a voyage of discovery with all the enjoyment of seeing things and experiencing events for the first time. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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Postby Gazeddy on Wed Mar 08, 2006 8:51 am

or her "little slapper best mate"


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Postby FEZZA_RS on Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:20 pm

fookin awsome my friend never a truer word spoken!

btw you need to add repeat step 1 and 2 till all feelings have been resolved lol!
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Postby jdfiesta on Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:21 am

this might be coming in handy :cry:
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Postby morpheus on Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:22 am

haha, gud laugh m8...
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Postby CyberMODS on Sat Apr 08, 2006 4:31 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby JayC on Wed May 31, 2006 3:05 am

crazy i just split up with my bird.. decided to go collage, sort my life out..

gonna do some pussy whippin to but dont get to serious with the bitches is the idea.

gonna hit the raves too... gonna make sure i see westfest this year instead of being preoccupied with annie wilkes.. (remember that Bic™ off of missery.. you get the drift)

sorted guide man..
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